Sometimes I Need Leading

For ages now, I've been beside myself,

Continually wondering,

Why you're not beside me,

I've realised I’m a fool,

because you and I

Are not yet, we.

My body tingles when I glimpse you,

Willing closed doors to open wide,

See you enter through that doorway,

Suppressing my deep feelings inside.

Boyishly, trying to be aloof,

Coffee and small talk about our work,

This close I can smell your perfume,

You'll never know just how much that hurts,

I look into your eyes trying to see something,

That I wish I would see there,

Hoping against all hope,

That deep inside, you could care.

Your smile is the brightest,

Seeing it, all other views are hazy,

I want to shout to everyone around,

Just how much you drive me crazy.

I know, I'm guilty of being hasty,

Emotionally out of control, and so

I'm guilty of those feelings

For certain, but I can’t let you know.

I understand that sometimes I appear assured,

But sometimes I need leading,

At times I realise what's best for me,

Other times I lay bleeding,

I have many fears,

A multitude of doubts,

I’m aware of my strengths,

Occasionally my weaknesses win out.

I want to, even need to, share

My hopes my dreams and my desires,

You sparked the brightest flame within,

You set my soul on fire.

It's a shame that just as I've come to this,

I’m resolved to a different conclusion,

I wish I had shown you sooner how,

I favoured our romantic collusion.

I don’t want to say goodbye,

There will always be a part of me,

That wonders why we’re not,

Heart and heart, together as we.