A cry from the darkness

I've felt low before

But not so low as this

I've been down deep before

But not as this far down as this

I've leaned on many friends' shoulders before

But I've not leaned so acutely as this

I've thought so long and hard before

But not so long and hard as this

I've changed my direction before

But not so many turns as this

I've been rained on before

But not such a deluge as this

I've bent many rules before now

But not till I break them like this

I've laughed so nervously at life before

But not with such a shallow smile as this

I've thought of quitting life before

But not to such a complete stop as this

I've, But,

But I remember the sun shone before

I've seen it clearly through those greying clouds

But I remember the rain stopped before

I've laid myself warmly in dry grass fields

But I remember misery lightened before

I've belly laughed loudly in its face

But I remember that life was so good before

I've decided life can change. I just need your help.